These last few years have lent me a new view on being a mom and a daughter.
As I started having children I just wanted to be the best mom in the world. I didn’t want to spoil my kids but I wanted them to feel loved. I just knew I would do such a good job that when they grew up they wouldn’t have a single negative thing to say about my parenting.
Oh how I was blinded by the sweetness of their new beautiful little faces.
In retrospect, I have come to see I am not perfect and never will be. My mom isn’t either but she did all she knew best to do.
I’ve realized that maybe there are some things I should apologize to my mother for. Apologizing is hard to do. Praising her is easy.
So momma… On this Mothers Day of 2015 I feel like I need to say I’m Sorry.
— I’m sorry for
Every sassy word I spoke to you.
If I ever even muttered “I hate
you” under my breath.
All the times I didn’t say
Taking you for granted (I totally
Not being the daughter you raised
me to be….. For not always
Showing you your worth to me.
Being too self -absorbed and too
busy to spend time with you.
Ever breaking your heart no matter
if it was intentional or not.
There are far too many things I need to thank you for….
Momma thank you for…
Telling me no even if it didn’t
Making me do chores, do my own
laundry, and participate in cooking
dinners and house cleaning on
Saturdays ( It has made me a better
Being gentle in embarrassing
moments and stern in moments when
I was being stupid.
Thank you for making me sit in my
own bad decisions. (You probably
told me not to do it)
Making me respect you and your
Teaching me I can’t have everything
I want even if I did have the
money. (That got me and my family
through some tough financial times)
All the second chances. (And third
and fourth and fifth chances)
Praying for me. For restless
nights waiting for me to walk in
the door so you knew I was OK.
Loving me through tears of worry,
anger, and frustrations. (And the
moments you really probably just
want to physically beat the crud
out of me)
Instilling in me the idea that
there is always at least two sides
to every story and to try to walk a
mile in someone else’s shoes.
Encouraging me in my faith,
in my marriage, my dreams and in
being a decent mother when I felt
like I was failing miserably.
Going to my games, recitals,
plays and graduations even when
you felt terrible and didn’t want
And mom, thank you for being there when I was sick when I was little, the late nights when you knew you had to be at work in the morning and for taking the day off when there was no other choice and had to figure out how to make ends meet the rest of the month because of the lost work day.
You thought you were done with sick children until I found out I had cancer. Thank you for being there again, for leaving your own bed and husband to take care of me when my husband had to go back to work, when I had had no hair, and could barely make it from my bed to the couch. Thank you for coming to take care of my family, for doing our laundry, for taking flack from my kids when their world was turned upside down. Thank you for buying groceries and trash bags and for not relenting in your prayers for my health.
Thank you for trying to do the best you could… And wanting to be even better than your mom, because that’s what I try to do…..
And that’s why I’m even half the mom I am today, because you wanted to give the best you could … I am greatful,
I love you
than a few little words could relay.
To my Sisters-in-Laws, my late Mother-in- Law (I am convinced there is not a better one out there) and to all the women who have influenced how my kids were raised, thank you. They are great kids…. And that’s partly because of you.
Love you all
Happy Mothers Day…..