A few years ago, during the spring months, a humming bird got into our house. We had very high ceilings with unusual pitches so we weren’t sure how we were going to get that bird out. At first it was kind of funny and exciting. That little thing mesmerized us. It’s wings flapping so quickly the naked eye could barely make anything out but a blur. The sound it made, the buzzing, kept us intrigued as well. But then reality started to set in. We started worrying about if it would poo on our things in the living room. The cat started watching that enticing bird intently. It was now in danger.
Humor and excitement had begun to turn into fear, sadness, and determination to not let this incident end badly.
I thought about this moment this last weekend while hanging out with my 14 year old son. It doesn’t matter if you have a son or daughter it is a tough age to help guide them through. They are constantly questioning themselves and trying to figure out who it is that they want to be. I was trying to instill some ideas and concepts concerning being a young man of integrity in this messed up world while I had him trapped in a long car ride. 🙂 He just kept glancing at me from the corner of his eye. Getting no response from him I decided to put on my best Forrest Gump accent and said…. “I’m done lecturing. I think we will just keep driving home now.”
A few moments passed and he said… “Well then I’m gonna talk.”
I can’t help but grin. Well, ok! Let’s do this! TALK!!!
He proceeds to tell me about a few things that have been bothering him. These things concerned his friends and their disrespect for him… Girls and getting played. Oh the heart ache. Wouldn’t we shield them from this kind of pain if it were possible? We would. But that’s why we aren’t in charge. How do we become better, kinder, gentler people if we haven’t walked through just enough pain and hurt to smooth us out a bit?
This conversation (and a recent conversation with my daughter concerning a close male friend) led me to think about that hummingbird a few Springs ago.
I decided to ask my son if he remembered that moment.
It went something like this…….
M: “So you remember that time a few years ago, I think it was in the spring, when that hummingbird got in the house?”
S: (answering in a tone that says he is wondering where I am going to go with this) “Yeah?”
M: “You remember how it was flying everywhere and everybody was freaking out and how it kind of looked like Maggie (our cat) was waiting for dinner?”
S: “Yeah, why are we talking about this?”
M: (ignoring his question) “How do you think that hummingbird got in the house?”
S: “We left the french doors open. But seriously, Why are we talking about the hummingbird?”
M: (Continuing to ignore his question) “Yes, we left the doors open. And maybe we kept the feeders a little too close to the house”
M: “So I was thinking about this girl situation. Sometimes God closes doors so that we won’t get hurt. But for whatever reason we try to over rule Him and pry those doors wide open again. Then sometimes when that doesn’t do the trick we try to put the feeders really close to the doors so that there is more of a chance of getting up close to whatever it is we keep opening the closed door for.”
S: “So your saying I keep opening a door?”
M: “I’m saying when it is obvious God has closed a door, stop looking at it, stop trying to open it back up. It’s closed for a reason. When you’re able to recognize that and walk away, you will stop getting hurt.”
M: “It’s a hard thing to do. I’ve been hurt by friends, I have been hurt by boys. At some point I decided that if I didn’t want to be hurt again, that I needed to stop opening windows and doors for those people to do that. I needed to start asking God to help me recognize when a door had been shut and when I needed to let go and walk on looking for a door that HE had opened for me.”
S: “It’s hard”
M: “I agree, but it can be done. It’s your choice. Only you can make that happen.”
Do you find yourself looking at doors that have been closed, wondering what you can do to “fix it?” I look back and I think about every door that I tried to pry back open when God had firmly shut it. It never turned out good. It usually resulted in a set back or being hurt. This goes for all kinds of things. Friendships with certain people. Incidents that have hurt you that you have healed from but in a moment of anger, dig back up. This goes for people you are trying to cut loose from your life that have become toxic. Stopping staring at the door. Stop asking questions. Just trust that God has your back. Turn away from that closed window, closed door…. and start looking for What God is trying to show you.
Don’t let that bird back in.