I blink my eyes and you are standing next to your truck, rolling your eyes and laughing as dad and I go through the whole thing…”put your seat belt on, pay attention to everyone else because they are not paying attention to you. Don’t turn the music up too loud, don’t be on your phone while your driving…. blah blah” You say ok, I’m gonna be late for school! As you get in, your dad has to tell you just a few more things to make you safe… Ok dad, ok dad, you say.

What feels like moments later we are watching as you walk across the stage to accept your diploma.

Somehow we blink again and are standing in your dorm room, trying to find a reason to stay, when you practically push us out, saying “I got everything, thanks see you guys tomorrow”… Lol. I didn’t know if I should be happy or sad. I mean after all you said you were never leaving home… even going as far to say that when you got married your family would live with us… lol.

Then March 14th. I prayed, hollered at God, telling him I had faith that he would heal you. That I knew you weren’t finished bringing people to God. I challenged him. Told him to show me. Although in my human mind I was expecting a different kind of healing and Your “mission” work to be done in a different kind of way.

I realize now, that God is so much bigger than our pea brains can comprehend.

In your death, through God, you are still reaching people for his kingdom Shell. Its unbelievable.

I’m fiercely proud of you. Your sisters, Noah, dad and I all miss you, but are so glad you gave us so many memory’s to laugh about. I love you