The Backside of Rejection


Rejection affects the way we see and treat others. As parents it affects how we deal with our children.

It’s side effects can include anxiety,worry, feelings of low self-worth, and depression.  If a person’s reaction to us is not as desired it can cause the need to draw up and avoid social interaction.


Some people often reject people because they have already been hurt and keep others at arms length.  There are others who reject because of some sort of past pain  they have experience… Then again, maybe some are just selfish and don’t care about anyone but themselves. (Which I personally believe also comes from a past hurt.)

An article on states that the same pathway in our brains that transmits physical pain also transmits the pain of rejection. It went on to say that the painful memories of rejection were long lasting and more deeply seeded than physical pain.

How can that be?

When prompted to remember a physical pain, (I had my gallbladder removed and childbirth) I can vaguely remember it was painful and that I never want to feel that again. However, when prompted to remember the pain of being rejected, I can go back to the very feeling of that moment. The ache in my gut and the tightening in my chest became so clear it was as if I was in that particular moment again.

It’s interesting to realize psychological pain runs so much deeper. It gives rise to the old children’s riddle doesn’t it? “Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you.”

As children we tried to rationalize that. However, as adults we understand a little better that sticks and stones can obviously hurt you but words and actions can leave deeper scars.

How do you get past the rejection issues?For some people the damage is so deep they may require counseling. For others it may just take surrounding yourself with people who are gifted in showing love and acceptance outwardly as well as a concerted effort to recondition your thoughts about yourself.

I cannot wrap this up without suggesting opening God’s word. He is the great healer after all, and He accepts you right where you are.  Through His word and ultimate love for you, knowing He calls you worthy it will make the healing of rejection much easier. If you don’t know how to start, contact someone you know that already carries the spirit of Christ’ love with them. They will be equipped to help you through the process.

We don’t have to walk around feeling pushed down and broken.  We CAN be cut free from the bondage that we seem to drag around.

No more rejection. You are loved and cared about.  You are valued and important.     —– Be. Set. Free.


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